Updated: Feb 8
‘’What would you do if a good friend was thinking negatively? And about to sabotage themselves?
What would you tell them to do?’’
Now, what would you do if this was now you instead?
If you are like most people it would probably be a lot harsher and self-defeating! This is unfortunately how we self-talk to ourselves.
So what if we talk to ourselves like we were talking to a friend?
This is the basis for duality thinking
What Is Duality Thinking And Where Did It Come From?
I was inspired to create this method when I stumbled across a video by an artist called Ren and his song called ‘Hi Ren.’’
In which the song describes his battle with his alter ego, his negative and self-defeating side.
And has a constant back-and-forth argument and the ‘other’ voice trying to put doubts in his head and sabotage him.
Then in the climactic end after battling with his alter ego, he comes to a hopeful conclusion after going through a talk with his subconscious in which he goes and does what he knows he can.
This had a profound impact on me and made me think deeply about how we all have this other voice in our heads and how we battle it every day.
It also got me thinking about how this voice is also always prevalent in life and trading.
How many times have you given into that voice and accepted it as truth only to regret it time and time again?
And not being able to seemingly separate yourself from these thoughts?
And this is what got me thinking about a new way of going about it.
And how this could help traders find a way to communicate with this voice and remove the power and energy it has over them.
And this is how the concept of duality thinking came about and I wanted to share it it with you today.
The Basis For Dualistic Thinking
It’s a method where we separate this negative self and instead see it as a separate entity.
And through this, we are able to talk to it, reason with it, and come to actual solid conclusions with reason and logic to stop the self-sabotaging behaviors that affect so many traders.
To do this we must understand that this negative voice is actually our ‘friend.’ Who is trying to help us and protect us from danger?
So in turn we must talk to it like a friend in a kind way.
''We must understand them, not judge them but accept them for what they are a primitive and fearful and overprotective friend.''
What this does is forces you into speaking kindly to yourself with compassion as you probably know most of us beat ourselves up when we talk to ourselves and it never ends well.
But when we talk to friends we are far more understanding and well overall nicer when speaking to them and this is exactly how we need to approach our own self-talk.
What this method also helps with is help us to talk to ourselves with reason and logic by separating our logical positive side from the negative voice as if you are explaining the cons of the type of thinking this negative thought is having at the time.
The Law Of Polarity
The law of polarity states that everything has a pair of opposites, such as up and down, hot and cold, in and out, and positive and negative.
These pairs create a balance and are necessary for existence. However, it's important to remember that you can only focus on one of these polarities at a time.
You can't be both positive and negative at the same time; you have to choose one or the other.
And in this case, we are choosing to focus on the positive but understanding the negative with compassion.
What Will Dualistic Thinking Do For You?
Help understand the other voice: Recognizing the emotional and irrational tendencies of the voice, and how it can lead to negative thoughts, behaviors, and responses.
Developing self-awareness: Becoming aware of one's own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
Managing negative thoughts: Recognizing and challenging negative thoughts, and replacing them with more positive and rational thinking.
Improve self-talk: Talking to oneself in a positive and supportive manner, and using positive self-affirmations to counteract negative thinking.
Problem-solving: Use logical thinking and decision-making skills to solve problems and make informed decisions.
Taking responsibility: Taking responsibility for one's thoughts, feelings, and actions, and being accountable for the consequences of one's choices.
How To Do It?
Step 1: Name it
So the first step is to actually name the friend, and this will solidify that it is a separate entity from yourself.
Bonus points are awarded to those who give it a really silly name this way it will give you the view that you can’t really take them seriously which in turn will deaden the power and remove the energy it has over you.
Step Two: Talk To It
Now, whenever your negative, impulsive, and sabotaging thoughts arise you must now stop to talk to it as if it’s a friend who is trying to 'protect' you.
You must understand it really has your best interest at heart. It’s trying to help you but you know that this friend is always wrong and you must explain to it almost in a childlike way but logically why you have to do the opposite of what it is asking you to do.
Explain in every detail why and how you must go about what needs to be done.
''Tell them to relax and be calm. Explain what the consequences of the actions would be in the long run if you followed through with their advice. ''
Really drill down. And then ask it to understand and agree with you (this is very important)
For example, let's say you have the thought to exit the trade early.
You would stop and speak to your separate self let's name them 'Fred' and speak to them
''Look Fred this is not a good idea, I know you're scared we might lose the profits we currently have but if we keep taking profits early every time on a trade it will have a negative impact on our results in the long run, do you remember the last time we did this and how annoyed we both were last time we did this?
We have to go through a little bit of discomfort now in order to be successful in the long run, or will never be successful do you understand?.''
And once it does you should feel a sense of closure and power that you never had before when you were trying to battle your thoughts previously.
It should take away that sting that helps you create enough space and pause to have reframed the situation logically and allow you to do the right thing at that moment.
So this method may seem a little out there and truth be told I was a little nervous about writing this.
But I had the same conversation with my inner voice and reasoned that if this method can help just one person then it would have been worth it.
So there you go I suppose you can you this in any situation...
If you did find this helped you please let me know in the comments or by email as I would love to see what the feedback is on it.
Have an incredible day my friend!
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